"Did God really say...?" The serpent asked the question long ago, and he is still asking it today. Did God really say not to sleep around? Did God really say that expressing yourlove to your boyfriend or girlfriend through sexual intercourse was bad? Did God really say that you shouldn't first test the waters of sex to see if its a good fit?
Yes He did (sexual immorality = fornication = "porea" = any means of sexual intercourse between two people who are not married).
And here's why He said it.
*First of all, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows how quickly and easily sex can become our god. I Corinthians 6:12 - "I will not be mastered by anything." Sexual sin is more controlling and enslaving than almost any other type of sin that we can engage in. Once you drink from that cup outside of marriage, all you tend to do is think about how that drink tasted, when you can drink again, with whom can you drink next, etc. C.S. Lewis said, "Sex stops being bad when it stops being your God."
*Secondly, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows how empty wreck-less sexual behavior will leave us. The story of Amnon in 2 Samuel 13, as well as many of our personal experiences, attest to this reality. We look to have sex with a certain person in the hopes that by doing so, we will satisfy the deepest cravings of our heart. Even after I "got mine", though, I felt as if something was horribly wrong (although it didn't happen overnight). That feeling turned into frustration. Frustration turned into callousness. Callousness turned into hatred and anger. Hating my partners like Amnon did because they didn't give me what I was really looking for. And yet, that's all I knew so I just kept going back.
*Third, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows the bad habits we will fall into if He doesn't. The serpent is getting far too many people to buy into a whole slew of lies when it comes to sex.
-How about the lie that pornography teaches that real bodies aren't good enough. That only super model type figures will do. Or how about the lie that objectifying and using others for your own personal, sexual gratification is somehow okay. Or that people whom you have never even met are ready and willing to do whatever sexual acts you want them to do.
-Porn, as well as masturbation also lie to you and make you believe that sex is a rather individualistic pursuit/endeavor and sexual gratification is as easy as a click away. These things make you think that you can forever and always experience the pleasure of orgasm without the work and joy of a relationship.
-Pre-marital sex leads you to believe that sex is always exciting and the pinnacle of all relational experiences. It makes you think that sex is always overly romantic and sensual, or that it's always raw and crazy and dramatic and derives its pleasure from the "scandalousness" of it.
We could go on and on with the lies we are buying into, but I think you get the point. These lies are all around us, and many of us are buying into them without even realizing it or realizing the consequences such lies will result in, now and in all of our future relationships.
If you have experienced first hand the consequences of these things, if you are marked or enslaved by these things right now, know this: God is the truth that is out screaming these lies. God is the truth that is saving our lives (and our sexuality).
4 comments:
For a long time I didn't think that I Corinthians 6:16 was right, that sex creates an unbreakable bond for eternity with your sex partner. But through my own personal experience I am beginning to believe it. I now think that sex needs to happen only in the eternal bond of marriage. One reason so few people are capable of intimacy today is because the spiritual center of union with another person has been scattered in bits and pieces all over their previous partner's lives. They have been hurt and given themselves away time after time and each time they close down a little bit more and have less and less to offer.
That is exactly what happened to me until I eventually was incapable of true, lasting, commitment. I was connected to so many other people that I didn't have anything left to give my future wife.
I totally relate to the part when you said that physical intimacy gives part of yourself to each person that you can never take back.
I've struggled a little bit with pornography addiction, but mostly just with masturbation. Because I'm female, it's often been difficult to talk with people about this, because so often churches talk about it like it's a "guys' problem." Finally, a few years ago, I met another woman who struggles with this, and since I've learned that it's not rare at all for women. But anyway, no sin has ever ensnared my life like masturbation has- and this didn't change whether or not I was in a relationship wtih somebody. More than the illusion of intimacy, I think I'm addicted to the hormonal result. But anyway, I want to share the one way God's given me victory over this (though it is still a struggle). Every night that it seems like a temptation, I pray fervently that God would help me not do it. I remind myself how horrible I'll feel after if I do do it. But the biggest thing by far is to not start anything, because once I've started, it seems near impossible to stop. But reminding myself that "I want God more" is helpful. Many times, Satan's convinced me of the lie that masturbation's not really sin. But I'm now convinced that it is, because it involves objectifying the idea of another person (even if it's no one specific). It's selfish. It's about what I can get. And it also causes me (in daily life) to look at guys as potentual sexual objects.
Ok, that was a lot of confessing, but I basically want to say that 1) God CAN conquer this! Believe it! Want him to do it! Pray every day that he'll keep you from sin. 2) Don't start. It's the biggest battle step other than prayer. 3) Replace the addiction with something else that makes you feel good.
4) I know this may sound wierd, but it's been recommended to me to use ice. Apparently this helps.
Ok! Hopefully this will help someone else. Girls and guys alike, you are not alone, neither in your struggle nor in your victory!!!!
This series has been so helpful to me on how to deal with these desires and recognizing that they are real and teaching others through example how to deal with them and satisfy them through Christ.
I have come to realize there are so many other ways to satisfy these longings other than through physical intimacy and getting serious about christ and serving his needs above mine has been a big step and i appreciate all the support.
PRAY PRAY PRAY!
People should read this.
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