You Are the Truth, Out Screaming These Lies

"Did God really say...?"  The serpent asked the question long ago, and he is still asking it today.  Did God really say not to sleep around? Did God really say that expressing yourlove to your boyfriend or girlfriend through sexual intercourse was bad?  Did God really say that you shouldn't first test the waters of sex to see if its a good fit? 

Yes He did (sexual immorality = fornication = "porea" = any means of sexual intercourse between two people who are not married).  

And here's why He said it.

 *First of all, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows how quickly and easily sex can become our god.  I Corinthians 6:12 - "I will not be mastered by anything."    Sexual sin is more controlling and enslaving than almost any other type of sin that we can engage in. Once you drink from that cup outside of marriage, all you tend to do is think about how that drink tasted, when you can drink again, with whom can you drink next, etc.   C.S. Lewis said, "Sex stops being bad when it stops being your God."

*Secondly, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows how empty wreck-less sexual behavior will leave us.  The story of Amnon in 2 Samuel 13, as well as many of our personal experiences, attest to this reality.  We look to have sex with a certain person in the hopes that by doing so, we will satisfy the deepest cravings of our heart.   Even after I "got mine", though, I felt as if something was horribly wrong (although it didn't happen overnight). That feeling turned into frustration.  Frustration turned into callousness.  Callousness turned into hatred and anger.  Hating my partners like Amnon did because they didn't give me what I was really  looking for.  And yet, that's all I knew so I just kept going back.  

*Third, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows the bad habits we will fall into if He doesn't.  The serpent is getting far too many people to buy into a whole slew of lies when it comes to sex.

 

 -How about the lie that pornography teaches that real bodies aren't good enough.  That only super model type figures will do.  Or how about the lie that objectifying and using others for your own personal, sexual gratification is somehow okay.  Or that people whom you have never even met are ready and willing to do whatever sexual acts you want them to do.  

-Porn, as well as masturbation also lie to you and make you believe that sex is a rather  individualistic pursuit/endeavor and sexual gratification is as easy as a click away. These things make you think that you can forever and always experience the pleasure of orgasm without the work and joy of a relationship.   

-Pre-marital sex leads you to believe that sex is always exciting and the pinnacle of all relational experiences.  It makes you think that sex is always overly romantic and sensual,     or that it's always raw and crazy and dramatic and derives its pleasure from the "scandalousness" of it.

We could go on and on with the lies we are buying into, but I think you get the point.  These lies are all around us, and many of us are buying into them without even realizing it or realizing the consequences such lies will result in, now and in all of our future relationships.

If you have experienced first hand the consequences of these things, if you are marked or enslaved by these things right now, know this: God is the truth that is out screaming these lies. God is the truth that is saving our lives (and our sexuality). 

Salt-N-Pepa Style

We are at the point in our desire series where it is time to have "The Talk."  And hopefully this will go over a little bit better than when your parents sat you down and discussed the birds and the bees, or when you had to sit through that presentation in fifth grade when your school nurse made you watch extremely outdated and awkward videos of the male and female genitalia.

  

So, let's talk about sex shall we.  What I find most telling about this whole discussion is this: Although everyone out there is already talking about it, not to mention that they are all self proclaimed "experts" when it comes to talking about it, i.e. newspaper columnists, magazine editors, movie producers, ex-porn stars, medical professionals, etc., there seems to be more confusion and heartache and pain regarding this topic than ever before.  You would think that with so much discussion, experimentation, openness, and liberation that we would have arrived sexual; that we would have reached some sort of sexual nirvana where our sex lives just keep getting better and better and more and more fulfilling.  But you need only to look around to know that's not true.

If the truth about sex lies in our cultures' understanding of it, then why do so many people attach feelings of pain and fear to sex?  Why do so many people have to carry around with them the nightmares and pain and shame of sexual abuse?   

If the truth about sex lies within our cultures' understanding of it, then why are so many people overcome with such intense feelings of guilt and regret, or perhaps callousness and anger? 

If the truth about sex lies within our cultures' understanding of it, then why, for so many, is the marriage bed a place of frustration, emptiness and brokenness?

So when it comes to sex, I don't want to hear from the so called "experts".  I have seen and experienced first hand what their advice leads to.  What I needed long ago, and what we all need now, are fresh, liberating, and truly life transforming words on sex. 

And the truth of the matter is that God has a lot more to offer and say on this topic than most. The truth is that the more you know about and have have tasted the goodness of God, the more sacred and satisfying (not to mention God glorifying and exalting) your sex will be.

Genesis 2:25 says that, "The man and woman were both naked, and they felt no shame..." How we all long to experience this type and depth of intimacy; an intimacy without shame!  But like Adam and Eve, we are so quick to fall for and accept the cheap imitations of happiness and fulfillment, and instead, far too often we find ourselves overcome with shame and regret, in desperate search of the closest fig leaf to cover ourselves with. Whether that covering is awkwardness or fear or uncertainty, or even regret, guilt or callousness, God has the power to remove and redeem and restore, and He alone can give you the deepest desires of your heart. And yes, that is true even when it comes to talking about sex. 

Thoughts?