Desire

Warts, Wrinkles, Ailments, and All

2008-04-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

As we come to the close of our study concerning the core desires of the human heart, there is one final desire that we need to discuss to make the series complete. And it is a desire that actually deserves more time and attention than the others because it is one of the primary ways in which we fully and completely experience all of the other desires as well.

And the desire that I am thinking about is our desire for community. It is the desire deep in our hearts to be with, around, connected to and surrounded by others. It is our desire to be an intricate and intimate part of a group of people. It is our desire to belong.

And we see this desire expressed in everything from the hundreds of clubs, teams, groups, societies, and organizations that we throw ourselves in, to the sheer joy and happiness we feel when someone sends us a facebook friend request or invite, and everything in between. Whether it's the softball league, the kids' playgroup, or the local bar, we are all searching for deep, true, meaningful community. But why? Why do we long to have and experience such community? Why do we desire to belong? And how does God satisfy this particular desire?

Several things are clear from the pages of scripture that relate directly to our desire for community.

1. First, the whole of scripture tells us that we are made in the image of a God whose very nature is that of community and relationship. In God's revelation about himself, we encounter a Father, Son and Holy Spirit each loving the other, giving to the other, honoring the other, glorifying the other.

2. One of the primary purposes of the cross was to destroy the isolation, rejection, seclusion and loneliness of sin. Sin makes you think, feel, live and believe that you are alone. Jesus died to prove that you belong. And not only into his country club, fraternity, or fantasy football league, but into his very family (Ephesians 2:11-22).

3. God has designed for all of humanity, and especially his church, to work as a unified group whose very reason for existing and being together is to tangibly manifest His power and presence to one another (1 Corinthians 7:-11) as well as to the world at large (Ephesians 3:8-11).

Many people have expressed a deep interest and desire to experience and encounter God. And yet, most of the people that I have talked to feel as if that will happen to the degree that they separate themselves from the established church and all of the baggage and "dead weight" that we typically associate with the church. And yet, that is completely backwards thinking. The entire NT makes it clear that we cannot separate our relationship and experience with God from our relationship and experiences with other people, especially the church. It is not by separating ourselves from the church that we experience God in fresh, new and liberating ways. It is actually through the church, through the body that Christ died to redeem.

Even if that body has warts, wrinkles, and ailments, it is still our body, and still the very means by which God manifests himself to his people and to the world. May you know that God has called you to belong, and may you use that assurance (along with your passions and talents) to bless those who belong with you, as well as those who feel as if they are on the outside looking in.

Get Serious

2008-02-14T13:27:00.000-08:00

Deep within our hearts there is a desire to rise above and beyond the mediocre, half-hearted mentality that dominates much our world and much of our lives. Whether it's school, relationships, conversations, etc. we learn to play the game and do only the bare minimum of what is asked or required to achieve the desired outcome. And yet, our heart aches for something more. Our heart aches to be zealous and passionate and truly devoted. We long for a "magnificent obsession".

And standing in stark opposition to all of the laziness, apathy, and disinterest of the world is the cross of Jesus Christ.

The cross is the epitome of wholehearted devotion. The cross tells us and shows us beyond the shadow of a doubt just how serious and committed the Lord is to the redemption of the world. The cross demonstrates just how far He is willing to go and just how much He is willing to give to so we can experience life in Him. And the cross challenges, empowers and invites us to participate in and manifest that passion and devotion in our own lives.

Matthew 22:37 - "Love the Lord your God with ALL of your heart and with ALL your soul and with ALL your mind."

We are called to live lives where we give it all. Lives of passionate pursuit, reckless abandonment, complete devotion. Lives like the Apostle Paul. Lives like Mary of Bethany. Lives like the great saint of our day, Mother Teresa. Listen to an excerpt from some of her private writings:

"St. John of the Cross termed the maturation process of Christians as 'the dark night'. The night consisted of two phases. In the first night, 'the night of the senses', one is freed from attachment to sensory satisfactions and drawn into the prayer of contemplation. While God communicates His light and love, the soul is imperfect and incapable of receiving them, and actually experiences them as darkness, pain, dryness, and emptiness. Although the emptiness and absence of God are only apparent, they are a great source of suffering. If one continues to perform one's duties faithfully, the longing for God will increase as well as an increase of love, humility, patience, and other virtues. Having passed through the first night, one now enters into the 'night of the spirit'. During this night one is purged from the deepest roots of one's imperfections. A state of extreme aridity accompanies this purification, and one feels rejected and abandoned by God. The experience can become so intense that one feels as if heading towards eternal perdition. It is even more excruciating because one wants only God and loves Him greatly but is unable to recognize one's love for him. The virtues of faith, hope and charity are tried. Prayer is difficult, almost impossible, spiritual counsel practically of no avail. By means of this painful process, the disciple is led to total detachment from created things... becoming a fit instrument in the hands of Christ."

Are we so zealous for Christ and that wholeheartedly devoted to Him, that we would be willing to go through such a process? Are we passionately pursuing Him to the point where we actually desire for such a process to occur in our life if it means a greater experience of and manifestation of God's glory?

You Are the Truth, Out Screaming These Lies

2008-01-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

"Did God really say...?" The serpent asked the question long ago, and he is still asking it today. Did God really say not to sleep around? Did God really say that expressing yourlove to your boyfriend or girlfriend through sexual intercourse was bad? Did God really say that you shouldn't first test the waters of sex to see if its a good fit?

Yes He did (sexual immorality = fornication = "porea" = any means of sexual intercourse between two people who are not married).

And here's why He said it.

*First of all, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows how quickly and easily sex can become our god. I Corinthians 6:12 - "I will not be mastered by anything." Sexual sin is more controlling and enslaving than almost any other type of sin that we can engage in. Once you drink from that cup outside of marriage, all you tend to do is think about how that drink tasted, when you can drink again, with whom can you drink next, etc. C.S. Lewis said, "Sex stops being bad when it stops being your God."

*Secondly, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows how empty wreck-less sexual behavior will leave us. The story of Amnon in 2 Samuel 13, as well as many of our personal experiences, attest to this reality. We look to have sex with a certain person in the hopes that by doing so, we will satisfy the deepest cravings of our heart. Even after I "got mine", though, I felt as if something was horribly wrong (although it didn't happen overnight). That feeling turned into frustration. Frustration turned into callousness. Callousness turned into hatred and anger. Hating my partners like Amnon did because they didn't give me what I was really looking for. And yet, that's all I knew so I just kept going back.

*Third, God sets up boundaries for our sexuality because He knows the bad habits we will fall into if He doesn't. The serpent is getting far too many people to buy into a whole slew of lies when it comes to sex.

-How about the lie that pornography teaches that real bodies aren't good enough. That only super model type figures will do. Or how about the lie that objectifying and using others for your own personal, sexual gratification is somehow okay. Or that people whom you have never even met are ready and willing to do whatever sexual acts you want them to do.

-Porn, as well as masturbation also lie to you and make you believe that sex is a rather individualistic pursuit/endeavor and sexual gratification is as easy as a click away. These things make you think that you can forever and always experience the pleasure of orgasm without the work and joy of a relationship.

-Pre-marital sex leads you to believe that sex is always exciting and the pinnacle of all relational experiences. It makes you think that sex is always overly romantic and sensual, or that it's always raw and crazy and dramatic and derives its pleasure from the "scandalousness" of it.

We could go on and on with the lies we are buying into, but I think you get the point. These lies are all around us, and many of us are buying into them without even realizing it or realizing the consequences such lies will result in, now and in all of our future relationships.

If you have experienced first hand the consequences of these things, if you are marked or enslaved by these things right now, know this: God is the truth that is out screaming these lies. God is the truth that is saving our lives (and our sexuality).

Salt-N-Pepa Style

2008-01-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

We are at the point in our desire series where it is time to have "The Talk." And hopefully this will go over a little bit better than when your parents sat you down and discussed the birds and the bees, or when you had to sit through that presentation in fifth grade when your school nurse made you watch extremely outdated and awkward videos of the male and female genitalia.

So, let's talk about sex shall we. What I find most telling about this whole discussion is this: Although everyone out there is already talking about it, not to mention that they are all self proclaimed "experts" when it comes to talking about it, i.e. newspaper columnists, magazine editors, movie producers, ex-porn stars, medical professionals, etc., there seems to be more confusion and heartache and pain regarding this topic than ever before. You would think that with so much discussion, experimentation, openness, and liberation that we would have arrived sexual; that we would have reached some sort of sexual nirvana where our sex lives just keep getting better and better and more and more fulfilling. But you need only to look around to know that's not true.

If the truth about sex lies in our cultures' understanding of it, then why do so many people attach feelings of pain and fear to sex? Why do so many people have to carry around with them the nightmares and pain and shame of sexual abuse?

If the truth about sex lies within our cultures' understanding of it, then why are so many people overcome with such intense feelings of guilt and regret, or perhaps callousness and anger?

If the truth about sex lies within our cultures' understanding of it, then why, for so many, is the marriage bed a place of frustration, emptiness and brokenness?

So when it comes to sex, I don't want to hear from the so called "experts". I have seen and experienced first hand what their advice leads to. What I needed long ago, and what we all need now, are fresh, liberating, and truly life transforming words on sex.

And the truth of the matter is that God has a lot more to offer and say on this topic than most. The truth is that the more you know about and have have tasted the goodness of God, the more sacred and satisfying (not to mention God glorifying and exalting) your sex will be.

Genesis 2:25 says that, "The man and woman were both naked, and they felt no shame..." How we all long to experience this type and depth of intimacy; an intimacy without shame! But like Adam and Eve, we are so quick to fall for and accept the cheap imitations of happiness and fulfillment, and instead, far too often we find ourselves overcome with shame and regret, in desperate search of the closest fig leaf to cover ourselves with. Whether that covering is awkwardness or fear or uncertainty, or even regret, guilt or callousness, God has the power to remove and redeem and restore, and He alone can give you the deepest desires of your heart. And yes, that is true even when it comes to talking about sex.

Thoughts?

King of the Hill

2007-11-29T16:28:00.001-08:00

Although many of us probably haven't played the game "King of the Hill" in quite some time, the goal of that game and the mentality that drives us to play it permeates almost every area of our lives. Whether it's the ballfield, or the boardroom, or the bedroom, we all want to be the king of the hill. We all want to be the last man or woman standing. We all want to be recognized and honored as the very best. We all desire to be the greatest.

And yet, this desire can put us in some pretty bad spots and result in some pretty ugly things. This desire forces you to keep others at an arms length because they are a threat to your reign on the hill. This desire rips the joy and peace out of life because everything becomes a competition to win and battle to fight. This desire makes people sacrifice family and friends for the sake of succeeding. This desire forces people to sacrifice and give in on their standards and morals just to get to or stay on the top of the hill. This desire turns people into achievement and accomplishment junkies and they base their entire worth or the worth of others on plaques, promotions or praise.

So what do we do with this incessant need to be great? How do I, can I even, balance this desire with my Christianity? And is God pleased or angered by my need and desire to be great? Am I just succumbing to pride and arrogance or is there something good in and behind all of this?

Anyone struggle with this same desire? How does it manifest itself in your life? What do we do about it?

The End of Beauty As We Know It

2007-11-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

The end of beauty as we know it? Well, not really, it's just the end of the beauty portion of our desire study. But before we move on, there are a few more things to consider when it comes to our hearts yearning for beauty.

The first is this - Psalm 116:16 – “O LORD, truly I am your servant; I am your servant…you have freed me from my chains”. God offers us freedom – and although that takes on many different forms, I think it most certainly includes freedom from the burden of self, and in particular the burden of self-created and self-sustained beauty! He offers us freedom from the mirror. Freedom from the all consuming mentality that everything begins and ends and revolves around me. Freedom from the endless pursuit to look and be and make myself "beautiful" in the world's eyes.

In place of all of that, we are freed to fully and completely experience, enjoy and make a big deal out of the most beautiful and most important reality in all of life – God himself. The person who is truly and eternally beautiful is the person who has been freed from a personal obsession with their own physical beauty and instead seeks to draw attention and glory to the eternal beauty of the Lord! God did not save us to make a big deal out of us or to free us to go out and make a big deal out of ourselves. He saved us so that we would be freed and allowed to make a big deal out of Him and His beauty. You need to live for and seek out a beauty that is so much greater and grandeur than you are. And in the process, you become that which you desire!

The second idea is this: Romans 1:25 – “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.” Are we not falling into this same trap? We may not be bowing down to golden calfs or wooden poles, but we are bowing down to and worshipping the human body. Just look at how we spend our time and money and where our eyes and mind tend to wander. What we need to think about is this: yes the body of a beautiful woman is a glorious thing, yes the body of a Spartan man is breathtaking and awe inspiring, but how much more glorious, how much grandeur, how much more beautiful must be the One be who made it all?

We incorrectly assume that the beauty we see and can behold, particularly in the human body, is the climax and pinnacle of all beauty. That the human body and the beauty we see in it is worthy of our pursuit, praise and devotion. But it is not. The body is a beautiful thing, but not nearly as beautiful as the One who orginally designed and spoke it into being. God made the body beautiful, not so we would become consummed by its beauty, but so that we would be drawn to and consummed by His beauty, the One who makes all things beautiful. I'm afraid that too many of us are worshipping created things instead of and in place of the creator. And in so doing we diminish the beauty that is in the temporal things, and miss out on the eternal beauty, the true beauty that lies behind and made them all.

(Lauren, thanks for everything)

You Are So Beautiful To Me

2007-10-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

Some say being skinny is beautiful, but others see weight as a marker of beauty and vitality. Some say being completely natural and of the earth is beautiful, others say decorating yourself or wearing all sort of accessories and makeup is beautiful? Who's right? Who's wrong? Who do I listen to when it comes to satisfying the desire of my heart to be beautiful?

None of them? All of them?

In all reality, I really shouldn't listen to any of them because none of the "experts" have the final say when it comes to beauty. None of them made beauty in the first place. None of them are the author, originator or perfector of beauty. None of their opinions really matter any more than mine do. Shoot, if I can just make up what is beautiful then how about this: receeding hair lines, chicken legs, and little pooch bellies are now the true mark of beauty! And I am the fairest one of them all!

But it doesn't work like that. Beauty is not up to me. Beauty is not up to the designers. Beauty is not up to those with the airbrushes. Beauty is up to God.

And the last time I checked, He thinks you and I are pretty hot!

Psalm 45:10-11 - "Listen, O daughter, consider and give ear: Forget your people and your
father's house. The king is enthralled by your beauty!"

Song of Solomon 4:7 - "You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond
compare, absolutely flawless!"

You see, God does not make or surround Himself with ugly things. And we are told that He has created and purposefully placed every part of us, He has invited us into his table, and He has vowed to be our spouse and our lover. So you put two and two together.

The accounts of creation make it clear - you and I are the apex and climax of the whole world. You and I are the most glorious and most beautiful part of all that God has made. According to God, you exist, your freckles, your height, your hair line, your chicken legs, your everything, to make Him look glorious and beautiful. You are the canvas that displays in the best way possible the greatness and beauty of God. Your salvation is meant to put the glory of God's beauty and grace on display before the whole world. Your resurrected body will echo God's beauty through the halls of eternity. It doesn't matter what anybody else might say (especially the John's of this world) - You are the beauty of God. You are so beautiful.

Let that sink in. You are the beauty of God. You are so beautiful.

You are the beauty of God. You are so beautiful.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

2007-10-11T09:19:00.000-07:00

Remember the rest of the saying: "Who is the fairest of them all?"

But who cares?! Well, we do! Just look at the sheer amount of time, $, and energy we spend trying to enhance our appearance and become more attractive and beautiful. We want to be the fairest of them all! Whether it's beauty salons, beauty magazines, beauty tv programs, or gym memberships, diet plans, and plastic surgeries we are a people driven by a desire for beauty.

But how are all of those "beauty aids" working out for us? Do all of the cosmetics and accessories make us feel truly beautiful? If so, then why are so many women so depressed and dejected about their appearance? Why do so many women hurt themselves, starve themselves and literally tear themselves apart over how unattractive they feel they are? If so, then why are so many guys so insecure about themselves, hiding behind the weight bench or the designer clothes trying to convince others, and maybe themselves, that they are attractive and desirable?
If all of those beauty aids satisfy our desire for beauty, they why do most of us feel so ugly?

And yet, we still ask the question, "Who is the fairest of the them all?"

And it really comes down to this: Whose voice will I listen to when it comes to answering this question? Whose opinion will I value and whom will I seek out to affirm or reject my beauty?
Those in the entertainment industry? Those who twist and alter reality? Those who change the way a woman looks with an airbrush and a computer program? Or how about people like Ralph Lauren or Michael Haney (Editor of G.Q. magazine)? Or how about a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Since when did they become the ultimate authority on beauty? What makes them know any
more about beauty than anyone else for that matter?!

Whether it's all of the things that I can slap on, smear in, inject, or digest, or the fickle opinion of others who are just as desperate and thirsty for beauty as I am, there has to be another way. There has to be a better way to taste and know and become beauty.

zzz...Bored...zzz

2007-09-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

Extreme sports. Adrenaline junkies. The latest technology and newest innovations. The most recent Hollywood blockbuster. Traveling to exotic places. Super star athletes. Cars...cars...and more cars...!

What is it with our amazement and addiction to these things? Simple - our inherent desire for fascination! We all long to be amazed, to be inspired, intrigued, captivated, left in awe! We all want to be blown away by something or someone. We want bigger, faster, stronger, more amazing, more captivating, more, more, more.

But the amazing thing about all of this is that despite all of the avenues that are readily available to help “satisfy” this desire, i.e. sports, $, things, adventures, drugs, porn, etc., to be honest with you, I am still bored!

All of these avenues actually disappoint more often than not! I could always keep trying to go for the newest and most exhilerating thing, but I really feel like I would just end up at the same place I am right now. Eventually I would run out of options and feel just as bored! And that is exactly where our society is today. With all of the stuff and opportunities we have, we are still an incredibly bored people! Why do movie stars practically thrive on "drama", or why do athletes have to pursue dangerous and illegal activity on the side? Why? Because, even with all that they have, they still hunger for a deeper fascination.

No amount of finite things could ever fill an infinite hole and longing. No amount of possessions, no new experiences, no second, or third or fourth marriages, nothing.

We have to look to the infinite to satsify this desire.

What does that look like or mean to you? What things have you been looking to/searching for/clawing after to bring you fascination? How long did it last? Are you still bored?

Looking For Love in All The Wrong Places-

2007-09-19T16:00:00.001-07:00

Here are some other things to think about as we continue to discuss our desire for unconditional love.

1. Love and worth spring forth naturally from desirability

You see we typically feel that our value is derived from our contributions or our performance, but that simply is not true. There is something much greater and much deeper going on there. A typical home in Albuquerque costs around $200,000. The same exact house, same square footage, same size lot, etc. out here in Malibu would cost over 1 million dollars! What’s the difference? The quality of the home? The usability of the home? No. The difference is desirability. A greater number of people desire the house out here, for a number of reasons. But because of the demand, it has higher value. Now think about this, your value comes not from what you do, or the contributions you make, or even from the mistakes you make, but from the simple fact that the God of the Universe desires you. You are in high demand, therefore, you have great value.

2. Many of us have a misunderstanding that God loves us less when we sin or go against his will

What we fail to realize and grasp is that there is a huge difference between immaturity and rebellion. God knows that we are but dust and ashes, that we are weak and fragile, and that we are all very young in our Christian walk. So when we mess up, God doesn’t blast us or rebuke us or stop loving us. Just as a mother wouldn’t have blasted or rebuked or stopped loving her children because they weren’t walking or talking or using utensils right out of the womb. It takes time to develop and grow and God knows that. God knows it takes time to mature and become what He intended you to become and he loves you all the more as you struggle through that maturity process.

Any thoughts?

Stinky Faces

2007-09-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

It's the most fundamental and critical of all the desires of the human heart. The desire to be enjoyed, the desire to be liked, the desire to be accepted, or as we are going to refer to it, the desire to be loved unconditionally.

We want to be fully known, to be real, to be genuine and to just be ourselves.
We want to know that if we lay all our cards out on the table, we won’t have to worry about everybody else cashing in and walking away, either out of fear or disgust.
We want to feel loved, needed and important just because of who we are, and not what we do.
We want to know that if we have a bad day, or a bad week, or a bad year, we will still be loved.

Basically, we want to know that if we were a stinky face, someone would still love us!

But, we primarilly act on this desire by becoming obsessed with gaining the approval and love of others. And the only problem with that is it causes us to live fake, tentative, and hidden lives; afraid that at any moment the "real us" will be found out and the love will stop.

How foolish it is, though, to live this way and to look to someone else to fulfill this desire because everybody else is struggling with and searching for the same exact thing! So how in the world could they possibly give me something they don’t even have!?

But where should we go then? Should we just conclude that the fickle, merit based love we have experienced thus far in life is as good as it gets? Should we just throw our hands up and stop searching for unconditional love because we are tired of being dissappointed? Or should we allow our desire to be loved to push us past earthly relationships and draw us to something and someone so much greater?

In Malichi 1:1-2, God stands up among all of the fake, cheap imitations of love and proclaims "I love you!" But, we respond with doubt and disbelief. "How have you loved us God?!"

How would you answer this question and how do passages like Isaiah 49:15-16 , Isaiah 62:4 , Jeremiah 31:3, Psalm 18:1-19, and Ezekiel 16:4-14 help us to answer this question?

Desire Intro

2007-08-30T15:41:00.000-07:00

In the Bible I find several amazing claims that are completley liberating and fascinating to me:
1. God has made us to be creatures of desire. For all of humanity desires such things as
beauty, greatness, fascination, unconditional love, intimacy, etc.

2. It is wrong to try to suppress or repent of these desires. Instead we need to see that they
are a purposeful and intentional part of who we are, and thus, we should seek to intensify
those desires to the degree that we stop settling for cheap imitations and truly start seeking
after the true source and fountainhead of satsifaction.

3. And God himself proclaims and promises that He is all of that and more. He promises to
reach out his hand and offer us the deepest and most enduring happiness and delight that we
could ever know or experience. Not from God, as if He were a means to pleasure, but in God,
because He is the source and fulfillment of all pleasure*.

So, desire. What are yours, and are they strong enough to forsake and disregard all of the lesser, cheaper imitations of the world in the hope that there is true delight and satisfaction somewhere out there?